How to Read Your Baby’s Sleep Cues & Lead your Baby to Better Sleep

"Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge." – Simon Sinek

Parenting is an act of leadership. But being a leader in your child’s life isn’t about control—it’s about guidance. It’s about showing up with kindness and firmness, creating rhythms that help them feel safe, secure, and understood.

One of the most powerful ways we lead as parents is through communication—not just the words we say, but how we interpret and respond to our baby’s cues. When it comes to sleep, understanding what our little ones are trying to tell us allows us to guide them with confidence, rather than reacting out of frustration or uncertainty.

The key to better sleep? Learning to lead your baby through their day with gentle, clear communication—noticing their cues, respecting their needs, and supporting them through each transition.

Learning to Read Your Baby’s Sleep Cues: Leadership Starts with Connection

I’ll admit it—I didn’t always feel like a confident leader when my son, Connor, was a baby. In that first year, I was overwhelmed, anxious, and often second-guessing myself. Between postpartum struggles and my husband’s health challenges, I didn’t even know what I needed, let alone how to guide my baby.

But when I look back now, I see it: Connor was always communicating with me. I just didn’t know how to listen yet.  AND these were some of the loving lessons I was learning in that season of parenting. 

As I started paying attention—not just to his cries, but to his early signs of sleepiness, hunger, and overstimulation—everything changed. And when I learned to lead him through these transitions with both kindness and structure, our days (and nights) became so much smoother.

You can do the same. The more you observe and respond to your baby’s natural rhythms, the more confident you’ll feel in guiding them through their day.

What Are Common Baby Sleep Cues?

Great leaders don’t wait for chaos to respond—they anticipate needs before frustration builds. The same applies to reading your baby’s sleep signals.  Crying and behavior are always forms of communication, expressing a need for connection or support. 

Early Sleep Cues (Best time to start the wind-down routine)

💡Sleep Coach Tip: This transition usually happens during the play window, before your baby is overtired, making sleep smoother and easier.

✅ Slower movements
✅ Staring off or zoning out
✅ Losing interest in toys or people
✅ Rubbing eyes, pulling ears, or yawning

Late Sleep Cues (Signs of overtiredness)

❌ Fussiness or crying
❌ Arching back, stiffening body
❌ Rubbing face into caregiver’s chest
❌ Meltdowns when placed in the crib

Catching early cues means smoother sleep transitions. Waiting until late cues often results in an overtired baby who struggles to settle.

As a kind yet firm leader, your role is to observe and act with confidence—not waiting until exhaustion sets in, but gently guiding your baby into sleep before the struggle begins.  Trust me, I don’t love helping a little one in this state either, but I’ve been there. 

How Do I Know If My Baby Is Overtired or Just Fussy?

The first step in responding to fussiness? Pause and Breathe LOVE.

Great leaders don’t rush to react—they pause to assess the situation before responding. By taking a deep breath, you reset your nervous system and become fully present, which helps you make an informed decision about what your baby truly needs.  Grab the free Breathe LOVE Guide here. 

Then, ask yourself: Where are we in the routine?

Many times, a baby’s fussiness is actually them asking for your leadership. They don’t need us to “fix” them—they need us to guide them.

• Are they at the end of their wake window? (Check a wake window and sleep chart and see how much wakefulness your child can handle.) 
• Are they hungry or overstimulated? (Observe if they are rooting, sucking on hands, gettting hangry, or seem overwhelmed.)
• Do they need a change in activity or scenery? (Sometimes, fussiness is just boredom.)

By tuning in, we lead with clarity helping our little ones move smoothly through their day.

What’s the Best Way to Respond to My Baby’s Cries at Bedtime?

Leadership doesn’t mean controlling every outcome—it means understanding, guiding, and responding appropriately.

Two reasons babies often cry at bedtime:

1️⃣ Timing Issues: If your baby is crying before bedtime, it might mean they’re too tired or not tired enough. Adjusting wake windows can help prevent this frustration.

2️⃣ Temperament Differences: Some babies (especially highly alert or sensitive ones) struggle more with transitions. They may have FOMO (fear of missing out) or need extra reassurance as they settle into sleep.

Your role is to be both kind and firm—offering comfort while also maintaining a consistent routine, yet flexible for you to support the emotions that come up. The more predictable and secure the bedtime feels, the easier sleep becomes.

How Do I Get My Baby to Sleep in the Crib Instead of My Arms?

Babies thrive when we lead them through change gradually. If your baby has gotten used to sleeping in your arms, shifting to the crib will take practice and patience.

Sleep Strategies to use for Crib Sleep:

✔ Watch for early sleep cues – Timing is everything. Lay your baby down before they are overtired.
✔ Be consistent – A predictable routine helps babies feel safe in new sleep environments.
✔ Practice “Awake and Aware” – Instead of tricking your baby with "drowsy but awake," allow them to be aware of the transition to their crib while their body is naturally drowsy and ready for sleep.
✔ Gradual transitions – If needed, start with placing them in the crib for naps first before tackling nighttime.

The goal isn’t to surprise your baby or make them feel like sleep is happening to them. Instead, we want them to experience the process of falling asleep in their crib while feeling supported and secure. Believe it or not, your child is biologically wired for this!  

Leading your baby through this transition means offering comfort while also building their confidence in independent sleep. They are capable — remember- everything is learnable—you just need to show them how.

Parent Tip: Start a Sleep Communication Log

Good leaders track patterns and make informed decisions. If sleep feels unpredictable, keeping a log can help you see trends and make gentle adjustments.

How to Use a Sleep Communication Log:

✅ Step 1: Pause and Breathe LOVE – Regulate your own emotions before responding.
✅ Step 2: Track your baby’s sleep cues for 3-5 days – Note when they show early, mid, and late signs of tiredness.
✅ Step 3: Look for patterns – Are they consistently overtired at a certain time? Do wake windows need adjusting?

Over time, this helps you lead with confidence—knowing when your baby is truly ready for sleep instead of guessing or reacting to cries.

Leading Well Starts with Connection

Your baby isn’t giving you a hard time—they’re having a hard time. And just like great leaders in any role, your job isn’t to force compliance but to guide with understanding.

By learning to read your baby’s unique sleep language, you’re not just improving their sleep—you’re building trust, strengthening your bond, and growing as a confident, compassionate parent.

Sleep isn’t just about getting through the night. It’s about connection, communication, and leading with both kindness and clarity.

Ready to confidently lead your baby through smoother sleep transitions and create a rhythm that works for your family? 

Understanding your baby’s unique sleep cues is the first step to building trust and making bedtime easier. If you need support with newborn sleep, crib transitions, or finding a nap schedule that fits your little one’s needs, I’m here to help! Contact Loving Lessons Sleep Solutions for postpartum doula support and baby & toddler sleep coaching. Set up a time to connect here on my calendar! 

Missed Part 1? 

No worries! Start here → Read more about The Courage to Show Up, Relax, and Breathe LOVE to Get Sleep.

 Stay tuned for the rest of the series, where we’ll continue exploring how to lead your baby through sleep with confidence, connection, and consistency.

 Trust yourself and Lead Well— you’ve got this! 💜