Why Is Your Child Waking Every Two Hours? Understanding Sleep Cycles and Solving Sleep Challenges

If you’re reading this, you’ve likely been woken up multiple times in the night, feeling desperate to understand why your little one won’t sleep through. Believe me, I’ve been there too.

One of the most common concerns I hear from parents is, “Why does my child wake up every two hours?” It’s exhausting, frustrating, and can leave you feeling at a loss. So, let’s break it down together. I’m here to help you understand why this happens, how sleep cycles come into play, and introduce you to a framework I love—my SLEEP principles—that can change the way your child (and you) sleep for the better.

Why Do Night Wakings Happen?

If your child is waking up every two hours, know that it’s actually quite common. The reason lies in how we all, including babies, cycle through different stages of sleep. Babies naturally go between light and deep sleep, but unlike adults, they transition more frequently. 

When they enter the lighter sleep stages, they become aware of their surroundings, and if things aren’t just how they were when they first fell asleep—whether you were rocking, feeding, or holding them—they may fully wake up and cry out for the same comfort.

I often tell parents that what your child experiences when they first fall asleep sets the tone for how they expect to fall back asleep during these night time wake-ups. If your little one relies on you to be there every time they transition through a sleep cycle, they’ll naturally seek that same comfort each time they stir during the night.

Understanding Sleep Cycles and Sleep Stages

One thing I’ve found incredibly empowering, both as a parent and a sleep coach, is understanding how sleep cycles work. Sleep isn’t just a long, uninterrupted stretch, but a series of cycles. Babies typically move through these cycles every 45 to 60 minutes. Early in the night, they spend more time in deep sleep, which is why you may notice they sleep more soundly in the first part of the night. But as the night progresses, they spend more time in lighter sleep, and that’s when the frequent wake-ups can happen.


Knowing this, we can shift our focus to helping children fall asleep in a way that prepares them to handle these natural wake-ups on their own. If we can teach them to settle at the onset of bedtime and create a consistent response through the night, they’ll start sleeping longer stretches—something every parent dreams of!

Why does my child wake up every two hours?

I know it can feel overwhelming when you’re trying to understand what’s going on with your little one’s sleep. While the science behind sleep cycles and stages is important, I want to remind you that sleep is incredibly complex, and there are so many factors that come into play. Over the years, I’ve worked with countless families and learned that everything—yes, everything—impacts sleep.

This list isn’t exhaustive, but it covers some of the top factors that I’ve observed causing frequent night wakings. My goal in sharing this is to help you build awareness of the various root causes that might be affecting your child’s sleep:

• Feeding isn’t fully established
• Bedtime is too late
• Bedtime is too early
• A lack of connection during the day
• Timing of naps is off
• Not enough daytime naps
• Lack of clear boundaries
• Your child’s temperament
• Inconsistent routines
• Decision fatigue (for you and your child)
• Marital stress or conflict
• Underlying medical concerns

I know, it can feel like a lot to consider! But I’ve found that when we start identifying the small things that might be at play, we can start making adjustments that help everyone sleep better. Sometimes it’s just one or two tweaks, like shifting bedtime or reworking naps, that can make a huge difference. And other times, we may need to look deeper at things like connection or boundaries. Remember, you’re not alone in this—I’m here to help guide you through the process.




The SLEEP Principles – A Framework for Better Sleep

Over the years, I’ve developed a framework I call the SLEEP principles. This approach has been a game-changer for many families I’ve worked with, and I’m excited to share it with you. The SLEEP principles stand for:

• Show up
• Lead
• Environments
• Empower
• Play

Let’s walk through what each of these means.

💜 Show up is about a state of being. How are you being is the key question. Your energy directly influences theirs, and being grounded helps them feel secure. 

Learning to be in a state of rest is a journey and a process and probably the number one area I encourage parents to practice. I know that’s easier said than done when you’re exhausted, but our presence sets the tone for our child’s restfulness. When we can show up feeling rested, a state of mind, it helps them feel safe and settled. It also helps us feel better about how we show up for ourselves, our spouse or significant other, our children and others.

💜 Lead is all about guiding your child through the routines of your day  with confidence, creating a rhythm and flow that they can trust. Children thrive on routine, and knowing what to expect makes them feel secure.  This helps lead to a better bedtime.  

💜 Environments focus on physical space. Creating physical spaces that help communicate shared expectations remove the chaos and replace it with calm. For bedtime, think dim lighting, comfortable cool temperature, and soothing cues like a sound machine—can make all the difference in helping your child relax and fall asleep.  

💜 Empower is about allowing your child to do what they are capable of developmentally to provide support and space for learning. Self soothing is not a milestone that is reached, but  develops over time with opportunities for practice. This doesn’t mean leaving them to cry, but gently encouraging them to fall asleep on their own, so they can connect their sleep cycles without needing you to step in.

On a side note, children are not able to self soothe until closer to elementary age, so they need plenty of opportunities with support to practice. I’ll cover more on that in another post.

💜 And lastly, Play. I love this one because bedtime and parenting doesn’t have to be a chore. When we infuse a bit of fun, love, and connection into our routines, we create positive connections  for our little ones that fill their cup and our cup too.  When we enjoy our routines it allows us to settle and be comfortable so that we can drift off to sleep. 

The SLEEP principles offer a flexible, adaptable framework that works for any family to transform sleep, one step at a time.

I remember one mom I worked with who was completely overwhelmed by her toddler’s constant night wakings. We adjusted her routine and made the environment more sleep-friendly, but the real change came when she started empowering her child to fall asleep on his own. It wasn’t about making drastic changes overnight. Instead, it was small shifts in how she showed up for bedtime. Within weeks, her child was sleeping longer stretches, and she felt more confident and rested. 

These principles are adaptable and can work for any family, no matter your parenting style.


Creating a Safe and Secure Sleep Environment

One of the things I always emphasize when helping families is the importance of creating a safe and secure sleep environment. And by this, I don’t just mean the physical space—though that certainly matters—but also the emotional security we provide our little ones. Your child needs to feel safe and settled to truly relax and fall asleep. This starts with a consistent bedtime routine that signals it’s time to wind down, but there’s more to it than just that.

What often disrupts this emotional security? For many of us, it’s the stress we carry as parents. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of daily life, and without realizing it, we can let our stress build up. Even when we try our best to shield our children from it, they pick up on our energy. That’s why I believe it’s so important for us as parents to care for ourselves. Sometimes, it’s not just about managing our child’s routine—it’s about figuring out what kind of support we need and the skills we need to take care of ourselves.

One of my favorite things to explore on the Loving Lessons Learned Podcast is the conversations I have with trusted professionals from my directory. At the end of each episode, I always ask them to share their self-care tips, and I love the practical suggestions they offer. It’s often the little things we do that help us cope with the day-to-day stresses of life, and I’ve found these insights to be incredibly valuable.

When we talk about emotional security, I always encourage parents to take a moment and reflect on how they’re feeling during the bedtime routine. Are you calm and present, or are you running on empty? Believe me, I’ve been there, too. That’s why it’s so important to create rhythms and routines in our day that also nourish us. When we take care of ourselves, we’re better able to bring that sense of calm and relaxation to our little ones.

I’d love for you to check out my Breathe LOVE guide, which can help you get started on this journey. Don’t worry—this isn’t about adding another thing to your to-do list. I know you’re already juggling a lot. Instead, it’s about showing up in a way that feels more effective and sustainable. We’re working smarter, not harder, and I promise, it will make a difference.

 


Empowering Your Child to Sleep Independently

One of the greatest gifts you can give your child—and yourself—is helping them learn to fall asleep independently. I know, this sounds daunting at first, but it’s possible to do this without leaving them to cry it out. The goal is to empower your child to feel confident and secure enough to settle themselves when they wake up during the night. And yes, it’s totally achievable!

When we get the right timing, routine, environment and provide a loving and connected time together during the bedtime routine, everything changes.  

I geek out watching sleep unfold for littles ones and so do parents when they understand what their child is communicating to them and they stop engaging in the bedtime battles.

The Bigger Picture: How Sleep Impacts Family Well-being

I’ve seen firsthand how lack of sleep affects everything—from our mood and patience to how we connect with our children and spouses or significant others. But here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to be this way. By understanding sleep cycles, creating secure environments, and applying the SLEEP principles at the onset of bedtime and naps,  you can help your child develop healthy sleep habits that will benefit your whole family.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned as a parent and a sleep coach is that parenting isn’t easy, but it becomes more manageable when we set ourselves up for success. Prioritizing your own rest and creating routines that empower your child to sleep better are two of the most important things you can do for your family’s well-being. Sleep is foundational to a happy, healthy home, and it all starts with a few simple, intentional changes.

Key Loving Lessons Learned in this episode: 

🟣 Sleep disruptions often result from how children fall asleep initially.

🟣 The SLEEP principles (Show up, Lead, Environments, Empower, Play) offer a flexible, adaptable framework for solving sleep issues.

🟣 Creating a secure, calming sleep environment is essential for consistent, restful nights.

🟣 Understanding sleep cycles helps parents know when and why children wake up.

🟣 Empowering your child providing space and an opportunity promotes longer, more independent sleep.  This does not mean you’ll be leaving your child to cry it out.

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